My life in China (中国的生活)
There are so many things I could say and so many things that
I have learned from this experience that I could definitely write a whole book
about it, but I’m not in the mood to write one, haha! However, I will share my basic
story and how my life in China was, I will focus on the big things and will
try to be as objective as possible, but I will also express my feeling about certain
matters so you know how I work. There are a lot of formed opinions about China
and living in China, so when you read this article please leave all those in
the back of the mind and try to listen to the story and not judge right from
the gate! Just because you have heard
something and believe something, it doesn`t make it true until you experience
and saw it on your own!
The whole idea to ever going somewhere and travel after my thesis
came from my year on exchange in Reims, France. I still clearly remember the
time when my friends and I were talking in my room and one of my friends from
Ukraine/Germany told me about a friend of hers’ who taught English in Asia for
a year. At that time, I felt like there was light going on in my head telling
me that that is the coolest thing ever! I knew at that time that I would
probably do something similar, and it wasn't even 5 minutes after that I told
my best friend from Colombia, who lives in New York, that I want to do the same
thing…And so it was, I presented my master`s thesis on the 10th of
April (which got a perfect mark and later received the most valuable award in
Slovenia for a thesis) and 4 days later I was on a plane to Ningbo, China. Many
asked why China, when there are so many other countries! My inspiration was a
friend I got to knew when I was in Reims, France who was really close to me and
thought me a lot about the culture, food and people. I found him and it
interesting and more importantly I wanted to emerge in a country and place that
was really different and could learn
another truth from the truth I knew back home. I wanted a real family
experience so I decided to find an Au Pair job with a local Chinese family. I
found a place with a family in Ningbo, China for three months. It was a fast
and easy solution at the time and seemed about right for what I wanted to do
and learn in China.
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Lucas, Franky and I
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Lucas
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The first time I arrived at the airport and the family picked
me up from the airport with their own personal driver of course! The first
couple of days was really nice and got to know the father, mother, Franky &
Lucas, housekeeper and the driver. As you could already guess they are really
rich and they were not afraid to show it! My schedule was really full and
during the vacation (first 2 months), because the kids were off school and I
was in charge of taking care of them and so I did. I love kids, but Franky
& Lucas were really amazing and every day we had a blast. After some time,
they were like my own kids and I would do anything for them! The third month
when they started school I got a little lonely and had a lot more free time, at
that time I still refused to learn Chinese, and didn't have much to do so I explored
the city and met a couple of really nice people. One of them was a really cool
Hungarian guy and a Philippine mother who was managing a bar in another
district in Ningbo (Beilun). We started hanging out more often and each weekend
I would go there at night and party like there is no tomorrow. Had some really
great nights there and meet a bunch of new people I liked hanging out with,
like my own little Chinese family. When the three months expired I decided to
stay in Ningbo and with the help of my Hungarian friend I found a job teaching
English at Training English School in Beilun. There were two main reasons why I
decided to make this move:
1.
Chinese
family I worked for: Even though I really loved the kids I took care of,
the same could not be said for their parents. Father had his own pen production
company which is a big success and he would be away most of the time working,
while the mother (finance manager of the company…English translation: A wife)
would be working at the company but to my knowledge she was shopping and having
fun with her friends most of the time! First of all, I was only payed a sum of
1500rmb (around 200EUR), which I didn't care much about since it wasn't my goal
at the time. The mother and I had quite some culture shocks and ˝misunderstandings˝ (This is how
Chinese call it). One time she told me that we would all go on a vacation in
Hangzhou and stay at four seasons, but I should find my own place since I can’t
stay with them, another time she would lecture me about what I can and couldn’t
do in my free time, etc. Towards the father I had more respect until I
approached both of them after the second month with the notion that I wanted to
work as an English teacher in my free time and for a slight raise, since at
that time I was not earning as much as I needed to support my lifestyle. I was
abruptly told that I’m selfish, if I work for a school I don’t love the kids
anymore and that I get too much money as it is. (BTW: I worked every day,
almost 10h a day and still earned 200EUR). The money thing made me angry at the
time, because they were really flaunting their money around for me to see
(Example: we went to one dinner which was 3500RMB, around 500EUR). After the
conversation the mother went to the English school and told them if they talk
to me again they would press charges! Another reason was that I was treated
like an idiot and a slave for most of my time there. I should have listened to
everything they said and teach the kids English, when obviously this wasn’t in
the contract. The agency was of course on their side and threatened me with
taking away my visa and kicking me on the street (China Au Pair).
I
could write a book about this as well, but this is all in the past. Of course
later I found out that we are all very different and even If I thought I
haven’t experienced the culture shock, there it was. Of course you have to
realize that this is only my part of the story and most importantly I was
looking from a perspective which I was raised in. After living in China for 15 months
I have realized that we are very different people and do thing differently yet
at the same time think we both are doing the right thing… Matter of opinion. For me a lesson to stand for what I believe
in, be more brave, and say NO when it’s too much instead of keeping it in.
Cai
family
2. Me: If you know me then you know I live
for adventure, fear and doing something different that scares me a little bit.
By doing this I had a chance to find an apartment by myself with no ability to
speak Chinese, finally buy an e-bike and be like one of the locals, live on my
own and make enough money for my trip at the end. I did it all and much more
and learned that fighting it out is much
more awarding then someone else doing it for you.
Flat in Beilun before
general cleaning
After I moved to Beilun and found a nice place next to the
school for 1200rmb per month and working as an English teacher, life was much
better and free. At that time, I was really good with the people in Beilun, was
in a really amazing relationship and was living by myself and making my own
money. Life was good J. I would visit my two babies Franky & Lucas
every two weeks for free, because I really missed them and they missed me too
and at the same time I could visit my baby in Ningbo as well, since she was
close by as well.
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Beach near Beilun
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宁波 at night
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My discoveries and feelings about the culture, people, way of living, etc.
First three months living at the family didn’t give me much
insight into a normal Chinese way of living, however later I did find out that
unfortunately that was the lifestyle most Chinese wish and hope for (being rich
and wealthy). When living alone and Beilun, which is a district a little
further from the center and basically in between the villages. I was really
lucky to live there because this way I could really experience the real working
class life of Chinese and see things that would still not shock me, but would
most other people. I worked as English teacher where my job was to talk to
people and find out everything about them and their culture and I was payed for
it!!Good trade off, right!!HAHA
Let’s kick it off with what others thing about Chinese, from
my former perspective, my families, and friends (before going there):
- ·
They eat dogs
- ·
They are really dirty, messy and non-hygienic
- ·
It’s a communist country and there is no freedom
- ·
It’s dangerous
- ·
The language is impossible to learn
- ·
Guys penises are small and girls’ vaginas are
tight
- ·
They are always in groups
- ·
China is really polluted
And many more but I guess you know where this is headed,
nothing positive and mostly making jokes about them. When you really think about it, it mostly
comes from the news we hear, which we so blindly trust without even doubting.
Now I can say that some of them are true and some are not, but only because I
decided to take a chance and see for myself what is true and what is not!
The whole time I was there I didn’t find one thing that was
really terrible or thought that was extremely disgusting. I saw a mother
holding her daughters knees up and her back against mothers stomach so she
could pee in front of the most famous luxury shopping mall, I saw a grandmother
doing the same with her grandchild in a bus and toilet was a trash can, I saw
people pee everywhere, spitting is completely normal, throwing trash everywhere
normal, spitting bones & talking loud while mouth full when eating,
spitting in the restaurant, hitting your child, hitting your husband is more
common, yelling in public places, farting sounds everywhere, smoking and
chatting on a phone while peeing or taking a #2, public bathroom with no walls
at all, walking out side in a pajama and fuzzy slippers is really quite normal,
driving as you please, smoking in elevators & restaurants & schools
&… well you get my intention. Amongst all these “terrible” things there
were many more amazing things like: Grandparents extreme care for their
grandchildren, passion for food, respect for the elders, kindness and
generosity towards foreigners, students bringing you gifts, students’ parents
taking care of me like their own child, strangers offering me a place to stay
in case of trouble, their willingness to share things with others, always
trying to take you places and treat you like a king, etc. There are many more positives then negatives, but it’s sad how we
are programmed to remember more strange one’s then positive one’s!
Pollution
in China
These are two completely different sides of Chinese, well
one might think of one side to be negative and the other to be positive. I look
at things a little different and so in my opinion a lot of the “terrible”
things are actually easily explainable and make sense. What do you mean, might
be the question roaming in your heads! Well, I learned you should never judge a
person until you are in their shoes! So let’s put ourselves in their shoes, or
at least try.
First of all, most of the” terrible” things that I described
above are done my village people and people who didn’t live a city before and
hence didn’t have the “privilege” to experience everything and don’t know how
and if they can adapt to the new way of living. Modern day example to see how
it is in their shoes could be for those who have ever updated their windows 7
to windows 10 and you find yourself in a completely same software only it looks
different and some things just don’t work. So you take a lot of hours searching
online how to fix it, to actually find out it can’t be fixed or you find a
solution. When everything works you still need so much time to get used to it
and dealing with all these problems all the time. Now imagine doing this if you
are not patient (how can you be patient, if you have been waiting in line your
whole life. 1,3 billion people make you a little impatient), if you are above
30 years and just don’t have time to deal with this shit. Now also put into the equation that these 1,3
billion people most live in cities now, probably on the East coast, so it’s
saturated. Life is going by really fast, because you have to be better that the
other 1,299,999,999 people. You see what I’m doing? It’s easy to come from our
houses or apartments in cities that barely have any people in it and if by any
chance you are living in a place with a lot of people, at least you can go out
1, 2h and you will be enjoying the amazing air, freedom and nature. Can you do
it in China, well sure you can but there will be other thousand people doing
the same. I can keep this game going for long time. So read the list of
“terrible” things and put yourself in their shoes and think again if they are
really that bad and of course don’t forget that the only thing you want as one
of the 1,3 billion people is to have your own freedom to do what feels right. Even if you can’t explain it while you
imagine their perspective, it’s no reason to judge them since you will never
really be in their position, will we?!!
People mountain,
people sea（人山人海）
I forgot to mention the most important reason why I stayed
longer than expected in China. Guess what that was? If you said freedom I guess
you were right, but once again I highly doubted anyone that hasn’t been to
China would say that! What do I mean by freedom, after all it is a communist
country, how is that possible? Once again let’s jump into their shoes for a
while, as one of those 1,3 billion people its’ really not that easy to be
recognized, because you probably live in a city with more than 8 million people
and for one of those people to actually recognize you, is close to 0. So what
do you have to lose to be yourself and do what you like. Now you are thinking,
well I still wouldn’t do it…well of course, but you forgot that you are not
you, all the values that you have been thought as a child are not there
anymore, things you were told are “right” and what was “wrong” is suddenly not
there anymore. Now look at the situation with a pair of eyes that have been
thought different values from yours! Now we are getting closer, and when you
live in that environment you really ask yourself are all those rules we have
(how to eat, how to drive, what is right and what not really true). Well for us
it is, but for someone else who hasn’t lived in our shoes they would feel the
same as you are feeling there. So in China these petty rules like table
manners, driving manners, behavioral manners simply are different to suit their
lifestyle and what they have been learning. Please know that I’m strictly
speaking about some people here and not every Chinese, some Chinese nowadays try
to adapt the western way of living and I actually wish they wouldn’t but I’ll
get back to that some other time. I actually love driving like a crazy person
in China, you do drive much slower and pay more attention on the road and I saw
less car accident then I did here in Europe or America! I don’t know about the
statistics but I’m guessing there isn’t a big difference, so the result is not
much different then why do we start
judging so fast!???
Traffic in China
When it comes to their habits on the toilet they are quite
funny. First of all, seeing a normal toilet bowl you are used to back in the
western counties is not that common, in the shopping centers probably but other
places you will not see them. So squatting becomes a normal habit and learning
to balance on your feel while dropping a bomb becomes a challenge at the
beginning but in time you get used to it and if you do a little research it’s
much healthier than sitting on a toilet bowl! Why? Because the angle of squatting
opens the way for your defecation and it’s more effortless and goes faster and
with this you avoid having hemorrhoids. If you don’t believe me, try putting a
small stool under your feet next time you go to the bathroom, you will see the
magic! HAHA
Everywhere
squatting
Smoking in
China is quite normal, actually 350 million people smoke and they are obviously
number one cigarette consumers in the world. Considering guanxi (关系, communication or
relationships), a very important basic relationship between people and
influence it involves, is one of the most important things for Chinese and
giving cigars is quite popular as a special gift.
Since
Chinese usually do like they feel, same comes across when it comes to smoking,
convenience in smoking is more important than the health aspect. Chinese love
their freedom and so talking loud, smoking everywhere, spitting bones
everywhere etc. is quite easily explainable.
The other
side is their generosity and kindness towards friends and family. I haven’t
seen people so close to each other as friends and family. From their culture
and history, you can see respect toward their parents or elders. This is
usually really amazing, but it also has some downfalls. Except for not the best
beginning with the family I was staying with at the beginning all the families
later were simple amazing, super nice and didn’t even have one problem. If you
read my story about the family, but one of the reasons I didn’t feel good there
was because I was treated as a monkey with no respect, every other family was
the complete opposite. My Chinese parents as I called them were my favorite,
they were actually the parents of my private students. My private student’s
name was Andy. Andy was 11 years old and their parents wanted me to teach him
oral English and not spending that much time focusing on the writing and other
things, because they think speaking is more important, which was a complete
opposite of what others thought at that time, but I loved it since I believed
in the same. Andy was normal 11-year-old whose focus was everywhere but where I
wanted it to be so instead of sitting and just talking we spend the 90min
playing and speaking English so through games and practice we learned English.
I like it that instead of the 90min we had planned I always stayed for 2h. I
especially loved their parents, because they were very open minded when it came
to educating him and instead of putting pressure on the kids they let him do
what he likes and studying at the same time. They were very progressive and
they made me dinner many times and sometimes even buy me breakfast for the next
day, one day took me for a trip outside of the city. I mean generosity at the
maximum and instead of treating me like a teacher, I was just another person
and they let me in into their family because they wanted to and every time I
was there I felt like a family member. This is something I’ll always keep in
mind, NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE, NO MATTER
WHAT YOU DO AND NO MATTER HOW MUCH MONEY YOU HAVE, WE ARE ALL THE SAME, WE ARE
ALL HUMAN!! So truly thank you my lovely Chinese family!! I hope I gave as
much as you gave me
My Chinese family
TEACHING ENGLISH IN CHINA
Well I came
as Au Pair and taught English to my two little angels (Lucas & Franky).
Lucas already went to an International school and his English was pretty good,
while Franky’s was nonexistent. I really don’t like the education system in
China, but I still believe they couldn’t improve it my much due to the huge
number of people, but about that later. Since he was in school till 3 p.m. I
didn’t want to make English boring for him, so decided to only talk and make
him repeat things after me. We would go out for a drink or just walk around and
would point and tell him what it is and make him repeat it and after a month we
could have basic conversations. After three months we were able to communicate
without translating anything at the lower intermediate level. I was replaced
with a British teacher and Franky was transferred to an international school
and by the time I left (15 months) he was almost fluent in English. I am still
really impressed by his progress and am extremely happy he could have done it,
now he is studying in UK. SUPER PROUD OF HIM!!
Franky
Then I
thought in an English school which was recommended to me by my awesome
Hungarian friend and the Philippine manager/singer and both of them are part
time English teachers as well. Well I thought It would be hard to find a job
teaching English, but actually I went to a couple of schools and everyone
wanted to employ me, but I decided to take a job that my friend recommended. I
was getting payed a little less than others but I was working four days a day
and 4 days a week and I could make my own days off whenever I wanted which was
exactly what I was looking for and I got payed more much more than any other
job back in Slovenia. Teaching in a school was a really good thing, because I
could reach more people, talk and get to know so many nice people. As a teacher
you are really respected, except by kids which were mostly spoiled, but later
about that. I thought the best as I could and would make sure they understood,
as well as make the class as pleasant as possible. This was also a nice way to
meet some really cool people, who still stay in contact and hopefully we will
see each other many more times. My favorite class was Social club where I got
to pick the topic I liked and talked about it. Here I tried to introduce my way
of thinking and show people that everyone has a choice and you can really be
happy if you choose it! I have seen a lot of progress in some that really put
the effort into it and some who were worse than when I came the first time,
this was especially true for the kids at school. If I’m honest it wasn’t
completely their fault as well, school was also not good. The “manager/teacher”
was incompetent and had no idea how to be a teacher. A person who lived in
China for 8 something years and doesn’t know how to say a sentence in Chinese
is teaching a foreign language, yet has never learned one himself.
Unfortunately, this is the reality in China, a lot of foreigners come and use
their status “being white” and convince other to spend a lot of money, even if
they don’t have it! I liked my job until the 4th month when the
“manager” started using foul words towards me and other teachers and when I
actually saw how terrible everything was. When I tried to say something I was
threaten to have my visa revoked, etc. I won’t even go into details about how I
was cheated at my departure. I believe in karma…. everything comes back and I
learned another lesson. READ YOUR
CONTRACT GOOD AND ALWAYS NEGOTIATE FOR SOMETHING, AND TAKE SOME TIME TO THINK
THINGS OVER, DON’T JUST AGREE WITH EVERYTHING!!TAKE YOUR STAND
One child policy revoked
This is
where I talk about all those spoiled kids I mentioned before :P. Why do I say
spoiled? I’ll give you an example. I was teaching a class of kids and one of
the kids threw something on the floor and I told him to pick it up and he
didn’t. At the end of the class I detained him and told him to pick it up and
he said that that is the cleaners job (I go CRAZY when someone tells me
something like that, when they think they are better than someone else) so I made
him pick it up and he didn’t want to pick his own trash, but rather started to
cry hysterically. WTF?! He actually thought I give a f@#k and waited till he
picked it up…I waited over 5 minutes!!!!! Believe me that this was not even the
worse thing I saw! Kids have much less respect towards elders and workers which
really shocked me, since most adults are really respectful. In time and experiences,
I gradually understood why that was, the one child policy enabled the children
to be spoiled by their grandparents and took care of them like they are made
from porcelain. Another thing could be that kids saw their parents acting like
that or acted the same…just because they have more money and influence!
Personally that is a load of shit and during my trip I realized that money
doesn’t give you the right to act like an A@#hole, so that’s why I found kids
and people in poorer countries to be much more real and much happier (more
about that later)!
Cute Chinese family
Going back
to kids, I also have to mention some amazing kids that really inspired me and
also thought me a lot and gave me a more realistic whole picture. Here I have
to mention my private students’ family who in my opinion are exceptional and
really make sure that their kid gets the real education and showing them by example:
respect, love and lessons where the kid learns by his own mistakes! This of
course is only looking at my perspective, but I was raised in quite a strict
family where I had to work hard to become who I am and had to make my own way
in life. I’m actually happy they revoked the 1 child policy, but I’ve heard
that it is mostly regarding the real estate problems…well no matter what the reason
is, it’s still a great thing and I really hope there will more of those
amazingly cute kids!!I posted this small part on wechat or Chinese social
network and got quite some responses, while majority agreed with me they also
added that it also matters how much parents actually pay attention to the kids
in term actually being there. That is another thing I have noticed, parents
seem to be more focused on making money, peace, their phones or their own
things then paying attention to them. But this is not only happening in China,
is it?!
Devoted parents go where ever the kids go
Why Chinese want to be like Westerners???
Another phenomena is that Chinese are trying to do and act
like westerners. It’s a common misperception in China that “white” people are
considered to be rich, well dressed, well-mannered and live a free and easy
life. There is some truth to that, but that doesn’t mean that if you act and do
the same that you will be the same. Because of this niche more and more people
buy luxury brands (China actually buys more the 50% of all worlds luxury
brands), sit in Starbucks and drink coffee all day, love action filled movies,
going to gym, etc. Of course I can’t say that most people are doing it because
it’s what “white” people do, but mostly because it’s popular and in China you
have to follow the trend to be in. Very important! Drinking and going to a bar
is becoming more and more famous, even if it’s really expensive, I have also
seen more people dancing which really shocks me! Chinese are known for their
karaoke and partying at KTV’s with friends or “escorts”. I personally got used
to singing in KTV and partying there, but when I went out with my Chinese
friends it seemed like there was no diversity and no imagination, except when
It came to eating and choosing food. I really couldn’t pin point why this
actually is, but my guess would be the need to show others that you can afford
that life style and are able to live like a rich person. Status and wealth in China
is quite often flaunted as buying fancy cars, buying more alcohol then you can
drink at a bar, fancy brands, traveling, connections and sending their children
abroad to study, etc.
At a bar with BBQ
food and more beers then you will ever drink
Personally I think It’s completely normal due to the
globalization and fast development of China and like some other countries that
are trying to catch up. People are modernizing, seeing a brighter future, can
finally afford new and “better” things so of course everything is moving in
that direction! I personally like globalization when it comes to people getting
more for what they are doing, have more money, can live an easier life and have
more perks. Seems good, but when globalization arrives quickly and people have
more money than ever before, they get lost and spend it as fast or faster than
they earn it. This is where greed, envy, wanting more and much more starts. All
of a sudden it’s more important to look good, eat at fancy places, post and
chat with your friends, always having the most advanced toy than spending time
with family and good friends, playing with your kid, helping others, etc. All
of a sudden you find yourself working harder than ever to maintain your
lifestyle. You work more to make more money, so you could spend more and find a
new thing that make you happy and when that gets old buy another one that makes
you happier. Basically a hamster life,
running in the same circle over and over, not realizing that things make you
happy for a short time, but making memories with people you love will stay with
you forever. I heard this great saying once from a friend: If money can
solve your problem, then you have no real problems! On one side money gives you
freedom, but on the other it can take away true pleasures in life. Of course
not everyone is the same and we all think differently, but I personally believe
being happy is the most important thing in life and money does make you happy
in the short run, but being yourself no matter when and where will always make
you happy! Another issue I have with more and more people trying to be more
like westerners is that most people forget their rich Chinese tradition and
culture which for me is by far the worst thing that can happen. We are who we are and we should always be
proud of your own tradition and culture and carry that with you no matter
where, this makes you, you!!
I know I don’t want to live in Slovenia, because I simply
don’t understand and don’t like the way things are done here yet I will always
be from Slovenia and a part of that will always be with me. I love to tell
others how beautiful and all its magical things my country has. I still love
and respect everything that Slovenia has given me, will be thankful forever.
Should I live in a country I don’t feel good in just because it’s my own, NO. I
will move to another place I can call home and often come back to Slovenia to
see my lovely family and enjoy being home. I don’t mean to judge Slovenian’s, I
just see things differently and nor my or their way is better, it’s just a different
way of living. To conclude, I really hope Chinese develop fast and become more
free, but at the same time keep their extremely long tradition intact and
cherish it! I will come back many times and I still want to see the difference
between the west and China and not seeing the same things I can see in western
countries.
Dating, sex & relationships
My personal experience and all my love affairs with stay
hidden here, I’ll keep them for only my closest and best friends to laugh at. However,
I will share some basic things that I know are true and also some things I got
from trusted sources. In this day and age, it’s pretty easy to find a date in
China, especially if you are a foreigner. For Chinese you are like a mystery,
white and desirable and sometimes people will invite you to join their table
and play with them and stuff. If that doesn’t work they also have million apps
from dating ones, to finding a partner for marriage, fake marriage, sex, etc.
You can find whatever your heart desires and probably some more. When you are
getting closer to 30 things seem to progress much faster and marriage will come
a topic quite fast, since they believe a woman has to get married before and
for men the limit is a little higher, but still the pressure for both is
crazy!!!
Fake BF or GF is
becoming more famous around the Chinese NW to keep the parents from nagging
Since it’s a completely different place, culture and people
therefor there are also differences in the appearance of men and women.
Compared to Europeans majority of Chinese are smaller, less hairy and usually
don’t shave their armpits and groins, other places you will rarely see any
other body hair. They are also less muscular and have less energy in bed,
therefor are much calmer, slow, and emotional when having sex. For some reason
I do not understand they also love to talk while in the zone, which is annoying
to say at least! While you do get used to their style and in time adapt to it
and at the end actually prefer it. Sex education is still not that good, so you
really make sure you take all the possible safety precautions and HIV in China
is rising, another reason to be extra careful.
Relationships is where it gets really complicated, not only
do you have to deal with normal relationship problems but also the stereotypes each
has and culture difference and assuming that dating home and there is the same
will get you into an even deeper hole! In China I’m considered to be 28 years
old which puts me in an age area where it’s time for me to get married and
therefor I have been asked multiple times the following statements:
·
When are you going to get married? Hmmm idk,
when I find the right person!
- ·
You are getting older you should get married.
- ·
Don’t you want your parents to be happy?
- ·
Why don’t you parents find you a girl?
- ·
Have many girlfriends did you have and why
didn’t you marry one? Etc.
Well some of them are quite funny and interesting, but
understandable from their perspective. Since they had a one child policy,
everything revolved around that child and when he/she gets older the parents
want to have grandchildren and therefor get married (btw you can’t have kids
without getting married, or at least you can’t register them. If you are not
married and if they are not registered, it means they don’t exist). Pressure to
get married for adults, when going towards 30’s, is unimaginable and sometimes they
might find someone they do not even love, just to make their parents happy
(That’s what I call devotion). I had this feeling that love for them is not the
most important criteria when getting married, but finding someone that will be
there for you and someone who you can count on is much more important! While at
the beginning I found this strange, in time I learned it’s actually not such a
bad idea. I don’t want to sound negative but love fades in time and you come
down to the real matters at heart and if the base of the person you love is not
good or on some level similar to what you want, trouble will arise! Combining
this with the Chinese immense talent for business and money making, they might
not consider family as the most important in life, especially men. I did have a
feeling that their love is reserved for business and money. Sounds a little
extreme, but it’s what I took from my experience! I won’t even start regarding the
fake marriages, just to please their parents, …
Conveniences in China
Life in China is 100x more convenient then in Europe, mostly
because stated earlier Chinese have an immense talent for business and when
they see an opportunity they take it and make something new. I would not say
most are innovative, but they definitely know how to make life easier and corners
to cut which saves you a lot of time! I’ll just name a couple of things:
1.
Zhifubao
(支付宝)
or Alipay: This is a platform that is connected with your bank and you can
use it almost anywhere and everywhere. You usually have an APP on your phone
and can pay your bill by just scanning your barcode on the bill, can charge the
bus card, pay at the supermarket or some restaurants. You can also find cheap
transportation tickets, transfer money between accounts, send money to their
account and many more discounts. Now Wechat (微信)Chinese
most popular social network also has this option and you can do all that
straight from your social network APP.
Zhifubao or Alipay
logo
2.
Taobao (淘宝),
jingdong (京东):
These are online stores, similar to Ebay, but only much cheaper and extremely
fast delivery all over China. Taobao is normal quality online store and has
from extremely cheap to expensive goods. Producers/store owners can easily
subscribe and sell their things and services online and since there are so many
Chinese there is also a huge option when choosing, which almost makes it a
perfect competition! Jingdong is mostly for electronics but they sell other
things as well, their sellers are verified and usually sell higher quality goods
for cheap prices, makes it also more reliable and safe to buy. Delivery all
over China last up to 7 days, if they are having a really bad day!
Jingdong and Taobao
logos
3.
Number
one store (一号店):
Online supermarket with amazing choices where you can get almost any good your
heart desires, even good quality exported stuff. What makes it that much better
is their amazing delivery time!! I lived in Beilun and that’s quite far from
the city and not many people go there, even if it had 1 million people, still
they delivered to my doorsteps in less than 40h, but if I lived in Ningbo main
area It would be less than 15h. Just scan
the barcode in the store and see if it’s cheaper online and put it the basket
and order it when time comes and since it remembers your history you can easily
reship the same in the future or change the order. Of course everything is
payed through the phone. I love it!
4.
Others like apps for finding cheap hotel/motel
and other place, cheap coupons, and many more that really make a huge
difference. Getting to know local friends really pays off because they will
make your life so much easier!
How bad is the pollution?
Pollution is probably one of the main reasons why I left
China and don’t want to live there in the future. There are many positive
things about living in China and when I was thinking if I should stay there
permanently this was one of the three reason why I couldn’t stay. Desire to
keep researching and wanting to give America a chance were the following two
reasons.
Imagine waking up after 8h of sleep and still being tired,
your energy levels on all time minimum, fell asleep every time on a bus, lower
motivation to achieve and do certain things and higher motivation to do
nothing. If you know me, then you know that I’m really active, have high goals,
always on the move and a sports buff! When I lived there it seemed everything
was dragging and had the feeling my energy was slower not even mentioning that
I saw a clear sky 6 times in the whole time I was there, keep dreaming if you
want to see the stars at night…. what an optimist! Haha…Well of course It’s not
the same all over China, but most cities it’s similar, while the west, really
north and south pollution is much weaker and the conditions are better.
That’s one of the reasons I love Taiwan and want to move
there for a short time. Almost no pollution, deeper culture, nicer people,
western standards and I LOVE THEM. Haha :P
Conclusion
I could
easily write a whole book on this topic, but 14 pages on the topic of China is
enough I think. Unfortunately, I didn’t even touch the subject of their passion
for food, sleeping, business, their festivals and holidays, how foreigners live
in China, etc. Maybe I will one day write more about this and much more after I
get to know China even more and deeper! I will definitely go back to China many
times since now I can speak the language and there are still many places I want
to see and people to meet friends! I loved my life there and emerging in such a
different and deep culture changed my views on life and the way I live. Taking
this 15 months experience was the best thing I could have done and I owe a lot
to the amazing people I’ve met and experiences I went through, especially the
shocking ones
J.
Please if you have any questions about China or anything, contact me by email:
dr.l3p1@gmail.com. I’ll reply ASAP! And don’t
forget, Nick loves you :P
The
following are some pictures of my trip there and some memories I will keep in
my heart for life.
|
The meal full of sea food for me
(I don’t like sea food)
|
A gathering at my friends place
|
|
A Chinese new year meal
|
My favorite dish mian pi (面皮)
|
|
Old part of Shanghai
|
Shanghai promenade
|
 Qingdao by the sea
|
Qingdao at sunset
|
Harbin ice and snow festival
|
Xian city wall
|
|
|
 Harbin snow festival
|
|
Beautiful pagoda
|
Xian
|
 Xian bell tower
|
Chongqing
|
|
A small garden in Xian
|
Food street in Xian
|
|
My friend’s wedding
|
My Colombian sister
|
|
Very dear and close friend of mine
|
Foreigners in Beilun or "Beiluners"
|
|
Friends family for Chinese new year
|
加油 can mean add oil or it’s a cheer that you can do better!
HAHAHA
|
P.S.: The
three month trip around SE Asia follows, keep tuned
